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The Daily Reckless
March 2004 Archive

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PERSONAL JESUS TROLLEY (published 6March 2004)
Passion of the Cheeses

More religiotistic controversy this week as K-Tel relaunched their personal Jesus hostess trolley in the wake of Mel Gibson's fillum about the big felly upstairs.

The relaunch follows revelations that Charlotte Church had always been under the impression that, when giving the operatic laldy to Andrew Lloyd Wibble's Requiem, she was singing 'Pies for Jesus':

POPE SELLS TIGHTS (published 6 March 2004)
Head honcho hawks hosiery

Yet more religious controversy this week as the head of the catholic church decides to go all commercial like by selling his own brand in leg fittings in order to boost the Vatican coffers .

NO SMIRKING DAY (published 13March 2004)
Cut it out

A new govern mental initiative was announced this week with the launch of No Smirking Day designed to rid society of smug bastards in general.

NEW NEWS NEWS (published 13March 2004)
Dumb down, deeper and down

ITV have announced a rejigging of their news output by having their main bulletins presented by Trevor MacDonald's mole.

Other radical steps include the introduction of news for and by babies:

RACE RIGGING RESULTS (published 20 March 2004)
Bet scandal spreads

The world of horses (best of all the animals) and their diminutive riders has been rocked this week with further revelations about race fixing spreading to My Little Pony land.

3 MINUTE SILENCE ROW (published 20 March 2004)
Noises Off

Voices have been raised over the release of a controversial new compilation album featuring the best minutes of silence ever.

Several MPs and the like have condemned the idea as 'sick'. Music critics have condemned it as 'boring', while John Cage pronounced it 'derivative.'

PIGS REVOLTING (published 27March 2004)
Piggie, piggie, piggie. Oink, Oink, Oink

Exploited pigs across Britain involved in the modelling of shoes staged a revolt this week.

Piggets were out in force. Reports of flying piggets, however, were being treated with extreme cynicism.

BIGGS BOUNCES BACK (published 27March 2004)
Gangster Crap

Convicted train robber and Victor Meldrew lookalike, Ronnie Biggs, has released a comeback single as a homage to the Kray Twins.

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