SOCKS AND THE KITTY (published 24 September 2007) Of course, there's only one way to settle the Blue Peter cat naming scandal - cat fight! Also, it has been announced that the cute new kitty has blue tongue. A tearful Blue Peter presenter, Louden Brash, sobbed yesterday, 'Yes, it's true. Poor Socks (or Cookie, or whatever the fuck we're calling it this week) is doomed. Dooooomed, I tell you.'
---------------------------------------------------- A HANDBAG! (published 24 September 2007) Gordon Braun has denied being overly influenced by Herr Thatcher's recent visit to No.10. 'It's not a handbag,' he protested (a little too much) yesterday, 'it's a manbag. It's goat ma pieces in it and everything.'
-------------------------------------------- RUNNY EGGRITTE (published 10 September 2007) Another outing for Scotland's premier song mash and mangler, The Plagiarist. A unique blend of skewed tunes and sampled snatches with special guest appearances from the whole spectrum of the entertainment industry, including crabs, seagulls, Jenny Agutter and even Michael Jackson. A kick in the eye for pop purists and muso snobs everywhere. Get it here: Runny Eggritte
-------------------------------------------- DYE, INFIDELS, DYE! (published 10 September 2007) Good news for hirsute wrinklies - Acclaimed beauty clinician and cheeky terrorist, Mr Ben Laden, has launched his new range of beard hue solutions. Because you're worth it.
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SCOTTISH COMEDIAN OF THE YEAR(FAILED) (published 3 September 2007) Thrill to the sight of an old geezer scratching his head and a guitar. Yes, it's Tommy Reckless in action at the Edinburgh Festival failing to reach the final of Scottish Comedian of the Year. Not suitable for those of a musical sensibility: Where Seagulls Dare/Big John Smeaton
------------------------------------- WENDY ALEXANDER (published 3 September 2007) As the Scottish Labour Party prepares for the official coronation of its new queen, the Reckless releases its new single - a tribute to the new gaffer, backed with a paean to her Westminster boss: Wendy Alexander b/w I'm The Manse
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