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The agony uncle who travels incognito to avoid
Perry Estelle

Edgy Britwit logic chopping on the loose

This week - More Definitions

If incline means to go up and decline means to go down then does cline mean to stay even? (Contributed by Jim Adams)

Dr Farquar comments: ‘De’ is the precursor to a verb or adjective which means to express the opposite of said verb. I will ‘de-complicate’ this grammatical conundrum for you.

If a clergyman can be de-frocked then it follows that electricians can be de-lighted, and musicians de-noted. Cowboys de-ranged, laundry workers de-pressed and possibly de-pleted. It may emerge bed-makers become de-bunked and innocent female landscapers de-flowered. This is why driving instructors are often de-tested. I would like to de-brief Kate Moss while her boyfriend is de-coct by the press and left to de-compose. George Best was de-livered and I hope at the next election Tony Blair will be de-voted.

Just what does 'OK' stand for? (Contributed by Building19)

Dr Farquar comments: It’s a general term of agreement or that all is in order. The term was first heard in the US during the 1840 election of president Martin Van Buren meaning ‘Orl Korrect a bastardisation of his nickname “Old Kinderbrook”. Some say the abbreviation was attributed to an Indian warrior Chief ‘Oled Keobuck’ who was known by the white man as ‘OK’. There is widespread speculation. Some say it was the oatmeal crackers that the American Civil War soldiers consumed as rations bearing the initials ‘OK’ for the Orrins Kendall biscuit company. The Finns claim it derived from the ‘Orkea’ meaning correct. The French insist it comes from goods ready to be shipped or ‘au quai’(on the quay).Yet still, the Scottish believe it is from their own colloquialism ‘Och Aye’.

Its all toe-grit and puss-bags to me . Everybody knows it’s the magazine handed to me by a poof when I’m under a hairdryer.

Why do people sit down during the day and sit up late at night? (Contributed by Dan St.Amand)

Dr Farquars comments: I was up all night because an Indian disagreed with me. We exchanged many frank words in our respective languages.

Why does the word 'sanction' mean both to permit and to prohibit? How are you suppose to know which it is? (Contributed by Dave Tippett)

Dr Farquar comments: If God promised to forgive our trespassers does that mean I have to let them out of my allotment shed?

Why does brushing UP on something help you to get it DOWN pat? (Contributed by Steve Anderson)

Dr Farquar comments: Brush up your appearance for a start. As a road sweeper you should look less slovenly. If you wore a suit at work like I do maybe people wouldn’t drop litter around you so much.

If there are fastidious people does that mean there are also slowtidious people? If so just what do these people do? (Contributed by The Vent on

Dr Farquar comments: I’m C of E so I don’t believe in that shite.

How can you "blatantly" ignore something? Since blatant means conspicuous obvious and offensively noisy or loud do you think its really possible to blatantly ignore something? (Contributed by Wayne )

Dr Farquar comments: Next.

If 'X' is an unknown quotient and a 'spurt' is a drip under pressure, what exactly is an 'Expert'? (Contributed by Rob)

Dr Farquar comments: Experts are like the cream of the medical fraternity. Rich thick and full of clots.

Why is the letter 'X' used to represent the unknown? (Contributed by Floyd)

Dr Farquar comments: XXX implies X-rated. I mistook Ikea for a giant sex shop. The feckin’ family thermos flask still chafes on amorous picnics with my secretary. It's murder trying to negotiate country stiles.


see also Dr Farquar - Smith on:
New Year
The Ward
More death
The Generation Gap
Body Neurosis
Anti-Social Behaviour
Health and Safety
More Life
Yet More Life
Even More Life
Everlasting Life
Extra Terrestials