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The agony uncle who travels incognito to avoid
Perry Estelle

Edgy Britwit logic chopping on the loose

This week - Dreaming


Why is it that during the Industrial Revolution the workers all dreamed about school and now all the students dream about work? (Contributed by Ryoga)

Dr F: Students may appear to be in a dreamlike state. Its sleep deprivation in most cases. Partying all night and swotting all day can leave them listless and fatigued. Shagging makes them tired. Halls of residence encourage them to bed hop making academics late for lectures. 58% of attendees nod off at lectures because of nocturnal activities. In my youth as a student of the Grunty Fen Upper Drainpipe Medical University I never slept around. I would always ask them back to my place.

If you watch too much TV when you sleep at night will your dreams have commercials? (Contributed by The Vent on

Dr F: The subconscious is responsive to adverts. I proved this once. I saw ‘Fight Club’ at the local fleapit with a girl patient with hearing impairment. Brad Pitt played a perverted cinema projectionist and he liked to freak out audiences by putting a one second image of a penis at intervals throughout the show. Most filmgoers walked out with disgust. Not my partially deaf girlfriend. When I asked if she fancied a ‘coke’ she misheard and wouldn’t leave me alone for the rest of the night..

Do blind people "see" their dreams? (Contributed by Don F.)

Dr F: Yes, obviously. Apart from David Blunkett he’s a living nightmare.

Why do they say that if you are dreaming about falling from a great height and you land before you wake up you will die in real life? How does anyone know this? If they died because of the dream they wouldn't be alive to tell anyone would they? (Contributed by Randy van der Woning)

Dr F: Yesterday, I dreamt I had fallen into bowl of custard and was drowning. I was trying to stay awake listening to a female patient cast her views on Global Warming and the benefit of renewable energy and her personal recycling regimes. I became drowsy and while aspirating the boil under her left armpit I fell asleep with my nose planted firmly between her ample breasts. I will miss her. Mind you, abscess makes the heart grow fonder.

Why is it so hard to remember dreams? (Contributed by Angiree16)

Dr F: Because you have the attention span of a fruitfly with two very heavy bags of shopping.

How long do dreams last? (Contributed by ImmSpec)

Dr F: Longer if you put your hand in the freezer first.

If you drink a whole pot of coffee and then go to bed, do you dream in fast forward? (Contributed by Janne Burke)

Dr F: I once treated a man with a caffeine addiction that was directly against his religious beliefs. Mormons are not permitted to drink coffee. Shortly afterwards he switched to becoming a Java’s Witness.

If your dream comes true, do you stop dreaming? (Contributed by Ryden Gehl)

Dr F: Not if you are me and have a dealer that works part time as your pharmacist.

How do we know that the entire universe isn't just the fleeting daydream of a magic super-beetle in some parallel world? (Contributed by Art Harden)

Dr F: Get your own pharmacist Dr Harden.

What if life is a very long dream? (Contributed by Marlis)

Dr F: You will never get to brush your teeth.

If they say we're such things that dreams are made of, how come we never dream about ourselves? (Contributed by Dreamer)

Dr F: Last night I played hard to get but I knew deep down ….I wanted it.

see also Dr Farquar - Smith on:
New Year
The Ward
More death
The Generation Gap
Body Neurosis
Anti-Social Behaviour
Health and Safety
More Life
Yet More Life
Even More Life
Everlasting Life