This week - Actual Facts
Did you know Mark Twain was born on and died on days when Halley’s Comet can be seen? During his life he predicted that he would die when it could be seen. Lola Bollox
Dr Farquar says: I bet Mum’s proud of him. Did you also know that he borrowed huge sums of money during his life to pay off debts because of failed business ventures? It’s a shame he didn’t see that bugger coming as well?
US Dollar bills are made out of cotton and linen. Zelda Hoose
Dr F: That is why there is so much US money laundering then? Yes the Yankee dollar is not just Uncle Sam’s property but singularly the most widespread currency used in the entire world. Interestingly though the dollar over the last few years has fallen so much against the Mighty Euro in value its economic status is compared by economists to that of a third world country.
Instead of cotton and linen dollars soon the US cash reserve will be turning their money into recycled loo roll. A lot kinder to your bottom than the bastards have been to the rest of the world and the environment. It is also fact that their Declaration of Independence was written on hemp, or marijuana paper. Another reason for America to ‘get really bombed’ for a change.
A raisin dropped in a glass of fresh champagne will bounce up and down continuously from the bottom of the glass to the top. Silius Fekk
Dr F: Thank God for that. I thought a rabbit had shat in ma bobbly.
Triskaidekaphobia means fear of the number 13. Paraskevidekatriaphobia means fear of Friday the 13th (which occurs one to three times a year). In Italy, 17 is considered an unlucky number. In Japan, 4 is considered an unlucky number. Isaac Lozenges
Dr F: I am superstitious. I believe it's bad luck to buy and use different coloured bubble bath because all the bubbles end up being white anyway.
Each king in a deck of playing cards represents a great king from history: Spades = David ; Clubs = Alexander the Great ; Hearts = Charlemagne ; Diamonds = Caesar Anna Seeya Anraysha
Dr F: Nice to see you playing with a full deck again.
The “spot” on the 7-Up logo comes from its inventor who had red eyes. He was an albino. Jonah Club
Dr F: What do you call an albino flying an airplane? A pilot you racist! I took a blind Polish albino Buddhist monk to Burger King. He asked the vendor to ‘make him one with everything.’ At that point… pilot or not … I threw him out of the airplane which really frightened the shit out of his dog.
Do you know there are 315 entries in Webster’s 1996 dictionary that were misspelled? Mori Less
Dr F: That’s called Dickslecksia. I mean Diggslegssia. Oh feck…
Albert Einstein and Charles Darwin both married their first cousins (Elsa Löwenthal and Emma Wedgewood respectively). Olivia Wivmafokes
Dr F: Really? Well if you incest. No wonder one was into Relativity from firsthand experience while the other believed we evolved alongside our closest cousins. Why don’t we all shag our Gran just to be sure?
The “save” icon in Microsoft Office programs shows a floppy disk with the shutter on backwards. Jonas Onaweb
Dr F: I bet you are the sort of person who owns a computer. Am I right? Here is my advice..
Let go of the mouse.
Turn off the computer.
Play a game of solitaire with a real deck of cards.
Eat something other than taco chips.
Fart without recording it and putting it up on your Web page.
Get some sleep in bed rather than on your keyboard.
Next time you wake up in the middle of the night to go to the bathroom, don't tell everyone on your ICQ list about it.
Open a window without turning your computer back on (yes, it is possible). Very gradually expose your eyes to increasingly bright light so as to avoid damage or permanent sun blindness.
When you feel prepared for a massive dose of non-CRT radiation, put on welding goggles and go outside.
If you see someone, say "Hi" to them instead of trying to make the modem connect sound.
Visit a friend that you haven't spoken to in years because they don't have an email address.
Have ".com" officially removed from behind your name. Go on a date with someone you didn't meet in a chat room.
see also Dr Farquar-Smith on: