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The Sensational Alex Salmond Band




Shoplifting Girl

Stay while I report you
You can't evade this man
Cos my love, I've caught you
Running off with ham

Oooooh, you're a shoplifting girl
And you're committing an offence
By shoplifting girl
At a superstore's expense

Yes you, shoplifting girl
You think you're so smart
Cos you, shoplifting girl
Have appropriated my heart

I saw your furtive glances
And though my mind was smote
You took some stupid chances
Hiding chops beneath your coat

Oooooh, you're a shoplifting girl
And my heart's in your pocket
Yes, you're my shoplifting girl
And I want you to drop it
Cos you, shoplifting girl
Perpetuate deceipt
Cos you, shoplifting girl
Have meat, but no receipt

I asked for your name
Then melted, oh Melanie
But I know your game
You're committing a felony

Giblets might look nice
To an inveterate thief
But you'll pay a heavy price
For stealing frozen beef

Oooooh, shoplifting girl
Yeah, come quietly
This is the manager

Oooooh, shoplifting girl
Yeah, it's gonna be alright
Just one or two questions
Hand over the venison

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