MUSIC
I CAN'T AFFORD TO DIE ANYMORE
(Mackay)
Ever since the credit crunch
I'm living on a diet of Monster Munch
I'm struggling with milk and bread
And now I can't afford to be dead
My personal details have all been hacked
I tried to join a suicide pact
But they found me too dull
I have heated debates about mayonnaise
And how it's not the same as salad dressing
Meat is murder, but beetroot's worse
I find the whole subject of sex depressing
And now I'm really, really worried
Cos I've just found out that to get buried
Costs an arm and a leg and a torso and a head
So now I can't afford to be dead
Oh no. I can't afford to die anymore
Now that everybody's poor
Isn't it time to start a war?
Inspired by this news story
(from the album Tartan Special)
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