DRIVE BY SHOOTING
Gotta mass murder 'em all
crazed ten year old opened fire on a crowd of innocent
shoppers in a busy newsagents yesterday, killing twelve
and narrowly bruising several others.
is understood the newsagent was selling pokemon cards
of a particularly rare nature which the child killer
was eager to obtain.
deaths are just the latest in a series of pokemon
related crime waves sweeping the world.
all over the globe are routinely gunning down grannies,
torching teachers and savaging shopkeepers in an effort
to complete their collections.
youngster commented: 'Hey, you gotta catch 'em all!
So, a few people die along the way - is that so bad?'
else said, 'Well, yes, actually.'
are treating the case as audacious.